Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Bay to Breakers

Last Sunday was Bay to Breakers. I got to run this 12k with one of my lovelies, Dee.

Dee and I have been friends for almost 40 years. We went to grade school together and she is the only friend I've had that my mom forbid me to see; anytime we were together, trouble closely followed. Since then, we've both grown up. We each got married, had children and got our proverbial shit together. I have the honor of being her son's Godmother. It's fair to say that I absolutely adore Dee, and I'm enormously grateful for her friendship. 

We have been planning this race for almost 6 months. For those that don't know, Bay to Breakers is one of the oldest footraces, and probably one of the most eccentric as well. It's known for outrageous costumes and rampant nudity. As the name implies, the race begins at San Francisco Bay and travels through the city, past the Height district and through Golden Gate Park, before ending at the ocean. 

I suggested matching outfits, thinking we could wear capes or wings. Matching socks, maybe? Dee suggested Zombie Prom Queens, because...obviously.

Sashes and prom dresses were purchased, and corsages were ordered well in advance so they had a time to dry for that quintessential undead look. I found an inexpensive full-length gown for $25 at Forever 21. Several friends asked me if it was hard to run in a dress, but I took every precaution to ensure my race was a chafe-free experience; I was quite the spectacle in the changing room as I put my prom dress to the test. To the amusement of the staff, I ran in place, jumped around and then did a quick series of 'mountain climbers'. My dress passed with flying colors. 
If you stumble across my dressing room antics on YouTube
or Vine, be sure to let me know. Kick, stretch...and kick!
I arrived in the Bay Area on Friday night, and the next afternoon we set about to ruining our dresses. Taking scissors to a perfectly good dress, and hearing the tearing sound as we ripped fabric was enough to make both of us cringe - but we were equal to the task. We rubbed our gowns in dirt, and then sprayed them with fake blood. The finishing touches were splattering the sashes and tights with 'blood', and we were all set to rock and roll.

You'll see by the pictures that we did more photo-ops than actual running, although 'lurching' was more accurate as we worked the crowd. There were even spectators cooking up grilled cheesies and burgers for the runners! This event is a must-do for any runner looking for something alternative to add to their list of races.

Here are highlights from our race. Enjoy!

Babydoll waiting for BART
with a bag of brains. As you do.
We were a bit of a spectacle on the train ride into the city.
Our chaperon in orange was dressed as Jim Carey's
Lloyd Christmas. In real life, he's Dee's brother. 
We made a batch of jello brains just for the occasion.
I'm happy to share my receipe...just ask!
We caught up with Ms. Pac Man later in the race
as she weaved back and forth through
runners...while being chased by ghosts.  
Just...no. Did I mention that this
race is known for nudity? 
Billy Ray and Miley, y'all!
Wonder Woman and her magnificent beard.
These girls took, like, a hundred
selfies before the start of the race.
For once, I'm not exaggerating.
Magically delicious! Aside from being green,  I'm not sure
how their shirts figure into a leprechaun theme, but
regardless: Darth Vader trimming topiary kicks ass.
'Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's off to run a 12k we go!'
Their felt beards were clever and adorable.
Carbo loading!
Magnificent! Our dresses are the same color, yo.
Those boots! Such awesomeness.
Tony the Tiger says 'They're grrrrreat!'
::thumbs up::
I have a fever. And the only prescription is...MORE COWBELL.
Why yes, those are Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles! *cough*
I did mention this race was
known for nudity, yes?
This is such a clever costume. I'm also loving the photo bomb
inside a photo bomb. That's some next-level shit.
A taste of Milwaukee, which is coincidentally
where my cohort Dee hails from. PBR!
Warning: The man holding
this sign is an ASSHOLE. 
Babydoll and Elvi

My fabulous friend. I heart Deirdre!


  1. That looks like a TON of fun!!!! But... running nekkid?? That just seems, well...uncomfortable. Too much jiggling. Ick.

    1. I just don't see the appeal. Just because you *can* do something, doesn't mean you should.

      To be honest, the way everyone talked it up...I was expecting way more nudity. I 'only' saw three men completely naked. There were several men wearing tiny banana-hangers, but no naked women.